The other day while I was enjoying the weather, I was thinking about the many things that I'd love to introduce to my child: reading, cooking, playgrounds, climbing trees, the smell of freshly mown grass, sand, a bike, Spring, Summer, and Fall (I'm not keen on Winter), the blue sky sprinkled with clouds, the sound of a gentle summer wind rustling the leaves in the trees, the smell of rain on the breeze, Jane Austen, the 1940s, genealogy, geology, archeology (why not?), Scooby Doo, Doctor Who, The Beatles, ELO, Queen, Harry Potter, writing, learning, pets, red velevet cake, drawing, sci fi and fantasy, playing an instrument, the ocean, gardening, tomatoes, musicals . . . . So many things. I want to pass on to my child the appreciation of and the miracle of life and living.
That's when I thought how unfair it is that I may well never have the chance to do that. Why have these feelings if nothing is ever to come of them? My husband and I have so much to give to a child of ours. With every day that passes, it seems less likely that will ever be.
It's hard not to consider IUI or IVF at this stage of the game. Truthfully, given DH's motility issues, I think our chances are better with IVF than anything else. But I know I'll never go that route: 1) For the cost, I'd want a guarantee, 2) I'd be devastated if it failed, and 3) Not that I think it would be an issue for us, but if we managed to fertilize more than three eggs, I couldn't bring myself to destroy the "leftovers".
Well, it doesn't bear thinking about. The longer I do, the more I'll second guess myself. That doesn't do anyone any good. I believe this - what we're doing now - is the route we're meant to take. If we come out this childless (Heaven forbid), we'll have a good life. But I know we'll have missed something special.
*******************************************************
Sew, if you read this post, I can't read your blog any more. It's open to invited readers only. May I be invited? I enjoy reading your blog. You have some unique insights.
That's when I thought how unfair it is that I may well never have the chance to do that. Why have these feelings if nothing is ever to come of them? My husband and I have so much to give to a child of ours. With every day that passes, it seems less likely that will ever be.
It's hard not to consider IUI or IVF at this stage of the game. Truthfully, given DH's motility issues, I think our chances are better with IVF than anything else. But I know I'll never go that route: 1) For the cost, I'd want a guarantee, 2) I'd be devastated if it failed, and 3) Not that I think it would be an issue for us, but if we managed to fertilize more than three eggs, I couldn't bring myself to destroy the "leftovers".
Well, it doesn't bear thinking about. The longer I do, the more I'll second guess myself. That doesn't do anyone any good. I believe this - what we're doing now - is the route we're meant to take. If we come out this childless (Heaven forbid), we'll have a good life. But I know we'll have missed something special.
*******************************************************
Sew, if you read this post, I can't read your blog any more. It's open to invited readers only. May I be invited? I enjoy reading your blog. You have some unique insights.
*******************************************************
Thanks, Sew!
1 comment:
Dr's have told us that IUI's and IVF's would give us great chances but that not an option for us so we are aren't going to do that. After my next sugery and some ovulation drugs...if nothing still happens...we are at the end of our ropes. IT's tough but it is what it is. Actually, we are tired of IF and are willing to put forth a great effort ONE MORE TIME but then I think we need to accept God's will for us. I'm praying for you too. Blessings.
Post a Comment