Praying For Hope: Spotting and Cats

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Spotting and Cats

I started spotting yesterday, way too soon. I'm only 9DPO today. I've never started spotting this early since I've been tracking, either through temperature or Creighton. I can't fool myself into thinking it could be implantation spotting. All of my PMS symptoms are gone: AF is on the way.

When I saw this, I thought to myself, "I try to put all my faith into God this cycle - to trust His ways and push away all doubts - and this is what I get?!" Hardly worth the effort, is it? I was well on my way to another melt down - tears were threatening in the shower - when something happened. We nearly lost our cat.

I regularly take our pup out for one last time before I go to bed. It's our routine. Muggles, our cat, was in the laundry room when Sadie and I went out the door last night. I let Sadie sniff around the house for about five minutes before bringing her back in. I treated Sadie, refilled Muggles' food bowl, put some treats in her bed, and began to search for her. She was nowhere in the house. Panic set in as I realized that I'd heard some strange noise outside when Sadie and I were out back. I'd put it down to a rabbit running through the tree line at the back of the yard. It could have been Muggles!

I ran outside with a flashlight calling her name. I searched the tree line fully knowing that it would be impossible to find her in there at night if she didn't want to be found. After making a circuit around the house, I approached our side porch, the one just outside the laundry room. There she was, nosing around the steps. I calmly walked towards her, picked her up, and took her into the house. I was so relieved, I opened the treat jar and loaded her with treats.

Our girl is primarily an inside cat, but I take her out on a leash on most days. I started that when she was a kitten so she wouldn't panic if she ever found herself locked outside. I know of indoor cats who panicked the moment they found themselves locked out and were found several days later cowering under a neighbor's bay window. They were too terrified to come out when called. I’m happy to say that Muggles reacted just as I'd hoped. She was calm. She didn't run when I approached. She didn't struggle as I carried her back inside (that's one of the reasons for the treats, and something I normally give her when I bring her back in - it makes coming inside a pleasant thing rather than a punishment). I was so happy.

After the adrenaline finally faded, I thanked God. I fully believe He had a hand in this whole scene to show me He's still here, working for me. I was beginning to doubt it. Am I happy about AF arriving entirely too soon? Not on your life, but I'll take it for what it is and move on. Somehow, some way, God is guiding me toward some end. I'd prefer we reach that end sooner than later - and I'd truly prefer that it end with a baby or two - but I'll take the reminder that I'm not in this alone.

3 comments:

A said...: Ughhh...I *hate* spotting, and I'm so sorry you're dealing with it!! I hope God will give you a sense of peace about it- it sounds like maybe He already has.

So glad you found your cat- I know I would have been panicking, too!

I left you an award on my blog!; July 15, 2009 at 10:03 AM
prayerfuljourney said...: Oh yeah...I'd be in a panic mode if my cat got out especially at night. He's escaped a few times but didn't move fast enough so we were able to catch him. We take our cat out on a harness and leash too. He loves going outside. That for him is a treat in itself.

I really haven't had any spotting since my surg and this past cycle I took a prog gel suppository so no spotting. Actually, this type of prog or brand worked out well for me. I did feel better. That is good for I know I need prog. Have you tried progesterone? A lot of people take prometr.ium pills but that stuff gave me an upset stomach.

And you are not in this alone at all. I really do need the support this blog offers since ALL of my friends are fertile and have no clue what it's like to deal with IF for as long as I've been dealing with it. God Bless.; July 15, 2009 at 10:32 AM
Living Advent said...: I'm sorry about AF coming on. And so glad that you were able to find Muggles quickly! You're in our prayers!; July 16, 2009 at 4:08 PM

TTC History

9/1/2007 - Married to a perfect man.

10/28/2007 - Started the never ending road of TTC at the tender age of 37. How many other people do you know who can name the exact date they started trying for a baby?

3/12/2007 - Decided my husband and I weren't getting anywhere on our own in TTC and and that it was time to look for someone who could help.

4/10/2008 - Attended our first CreightonModel Fertility Care class and started tracking my cycle.

4/25/2008 - Had our first one-on-one session with our FertilityCare practitioner. We learned a lot. She suggested an appointment with one of the practice doctors, Dr. Mark Stegman, a skilled Napro doctor and surgeon, we took her up on the offer. We might be able to get an appointment some time in August.

4/28/2008 - Got a call from a receptionist from Dr. Stegman's office. Could I come in next week? Yes!

5/5/2008 - My first appointment with Dr. Stegman. He was very thorough in discussing our options and a potential plan of action for us. We'll begin with blood work to establish a hormone profile series in my next cycle.

5/2008 - Blood work every other day for two weeks. The nurse at the front desk knew me by sight by the time we were done. I nearly passed out at the payment desk on the day they took 10 vials of blood. That was pleasant. Did I mention that I hate needles?

5/27/2008 - Our first seminal analysis (SA). We're not keen on the special condom meant for the job.

6/30/2008 - Our follow up appointment with Dr. Stegman to learn about the results of our tests and where we go from there. My blood work looks good. My husband's SA looks good, too, except for forward progression. We scored a 1+. I believe 2+ is the preferred score. Dr. S recommends Proxeed. He also tells us he wants to schedule a selective hysterosalpingogram, a hysteroscopy, and a laproscopy some time late summer or early fall.

7/30/2008 - Being too cheap to shell out over $600 for a 6-month supply of Proxeed, my husband and I opt for the generic equivalent. It's a lot of vitamins, but it's much kinder to our wallet.

9/8/2008 - I have the preliminary exam, blood work, and tests prior to my surgery. I'm so nervous, I'm about ready to run screaming out the door, down the steps, across the parking lot, and straight home so I can hide under the bed with the dog. It's a miracle that I don't.

9/9/2008 - I have the SHSG, hysteroscopy, and laparoscopy and, much to my surprise, I survive. My tubes are good (woo hoo!), and I have no adhesions. Dr. S removes three polyps and "quite a bit" of endometriosis. It doesn't look that bad in the pictures of the surgery. It's fascinating to see what I look like from the inside out.

9/10/2008 - 9/12/2008 - I look like Shamu.

10/30/2008 - We're told that everything from the surgery looks good. The scars will fade over the coming months. We're to try to make a baby on our own for the next 6 months. Dr. S calls this "the fun part."

1/30/2009 - We have another appointment with our FertilityCare practioner (we've had quite a few before this, but I haven't mentioned them). She thinks Dr. Stegman might try me on Clomid as a next step. I hope it's Femara. It's not nearly as drying.

2/3/2009 - We have our second SA. We're still not keen on the condom.

3/4/2009 - This is fun?

3/27/2009 - The scars from the laparoscopy are nearly gone. Oh, and I'm 39.

4/9/2009 - Another appointment with Dr. Stegman. We learned the results of the SA. The numbers are no worse than the first - in fact some are much improved - but forward progression is no better. Our plan of action: optimize mucus by taking Mucinex twice a day from CD8 - P+1 plus 500 mg of extended release B6 daily for 2 months followed by 100 mg daily. DH is to make an appointment with a local urologist while Dr. S contacts a urologist in Philly with an interest in male infertility to learn if there is any more we could be doing. Next follow up: August.

4/29/2009 - We - or more like DH - had our urologist appointment. Official dianosis: nothing. No varicoceles, no prostate problems. Prescription: continue doing what we're doing. For this we needed a urologist?

5/29/2009 - Dr. S is booked for the month of August! They said they'd call when August opened up for appointments. I didn't hear the phone ring. September opens up next week. An additional month of nothing. I'm 39 - Methuselah in TTC years. How many months do I have left?

7/16/2009 - Ho hum.

7/24/2009 - Another FerterlityCare appointment. Our FertilityCare practitioner, Kim Lane, suggested that Dr. S may be taking his cue from me as to how aggressively we want to pursue treatment. I need to come up with a few new cues so we can get off the wait-and-see treadmill.

9/17/2009 - Another follow-up with Dr. Stegman. Our plan starting with the next cycle: 1) Limited hormonal profile, 2) An ultrasound series to monitor follicle development, 3) Ovulation stimulation (type and amount to be determined by the u/s series), 4) Food intolerance testing (is it ALCAT?), 5) Five cycles of Amoxicillin from CD8 - CD12 to improve CM.

9/28/2009 - The beginning of another hormone profile and, a new one for me, a follicular ultrasound study. This should be interesting provided I can keep track of all the appointments.

10/4/2009 - 5th ultrasound and three follicles! Can you imagine? So what does that make FSH?

11/11/2009 - Progesterone and Thyroid support! We had another appointment with Dr. S to discuss the test results and come up with another plan of action. FSH and LH were only 5.7 and 5.1 respectively - good levels, good ratio - but TSH and Reverse T3 were slightly high and progesterone plummeted afer P+5. Ovulation looks great, so no ovulation stimulation . . . yet. Ah, well.

12/8/2009 - I am a fertility magnet. Anyone in my vicinity will, given the opportunity, become pregnant within a year, TTC or not. Whether it be a 20 year old woman or an 80 year old man, it doesn't matter. All those around me, as long as they're not actually me, will have a child. I am blessed with an awesome power. . . . How do I reverse the polarity?

1/27/2010 - BFP. Stunned.

1/28/2010 - I called Dr. S's office the moment they opened. We have blood work this afternoon, 200mg of Progesterone, and a prenatal appointment. Prenatal. With a midwife. I'm really pregnant. Me.

1/29/2010 - P+17 numbers are hCG, 472, and Progesterone, 10.2. PIO twice a week, Mondays and Thursdays. I can’t sit down, but I’m too restless to care. The HPT was right.

2/1/2010 - You do not make a desperate, hormonal woman wait for P+21 hCG results! By the way, they're 1670. I'm limp with relief.

2/11/2010 - There’s a baby in there! Our first ultrasound. Junior is measuring 6 weeks, 1 day with a heart rate of 96 bpm.

2/16/2010 - Progesterone results from the last blood draw haven’t budged, so we’re adding daily progesterone suppositories to the twice a week injections. I’ll do whatever it takes.

3/2/2010 - Progesterone has risen to 27.4, zone 3! No PIO for now, just suppositories until the next blood draw in two weeks. If it still looks good (fingers crossed), we may be able to stop the suppositories. Knock on wood, knock on wood, knock on wood . . . .

3/27/2010 - New decade: I'm 40!

4/5/2010 - No more progesterone. The level at the last blood draw is 30 which I don't think sounds particularly high. If the experts are happy, I'm happy. And the results from the Down Syndrome screening came back: we're at no greater risk for Downs than anyone else. We're breathing again, until the next milestone at least.

5/18/2010 - It’s a mobile, little girl! Keep growing, kiddo.

10/11/2010 - Welcome Kathleen Elizabeth.