Praying For Hope: T minus 15 weeks

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

T minus 15 weeks

We're 25 weeks today, much to my surprise. I'm still nervous, of course (I'm fighting that every day), but it's lessened now that I can feel the baby move on occasion. It's becoming more real for DH and me. We're letting ourselves believe it all might actually happen. It's hard to let go of the worry after so long.

Some interesting new symptoms of note:

I'm starving.
I appear to be developing Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (SPD) where the ligaments holding the pelvic bones together are loosening in preparation for birth a little too much. I'm not falling apart, although it sounds like it, I simply feel pain at the front of my pubic bone after a lot of activity. It could be much worse from what I've been reading - it's only uncomfortable occasionally and I can easily walk without waddling - so I'm not complaining. Anyway, it means my body's doing what it needs to do to get this baby out safely when the time comes. Good. I really don't want a c-section.
Heartburn. I've never had it before and I never want it again. I naively thought I wouldn't need to deal with it since it was never a problem before pregnancy. I've been dealing with it since at least the 20th week. Again, it shows my body's preparing for birth and the baby's growing, and that's a good thing. The Tums taste pretty good, too.
Bathroom runs are becoming more frequent, even in the middle of the night. That I bother to get up before the alarm goes off to use the bathroom is huge for me. Before Kate, I'd ignore it and go back to sleep. I don't mind. It's proof she's growing enough to make me uncomfortable.
I'm becoming hormonal. I should not be allowed behind the wheel of a car. I can't make it into work without wanting to run someone over. All other drivers are idiots bent on annoying me. All of them. It's not like my commute is long or covers large areas of congested highway. I take back roads. And they're still idiots.
Gaining weight, while expected and very welcome, is traumatic. I love my growing belly and the little girl inside it, but I catch myself looking longingly at pictures of thin women thinking that was me once. Can't have it both ways. Given a choice, I'll take the way I am now.
I'm still starving.

7 comments:

Sew said...: LOL! I actually see other womens waist line and think, I actually used to have one that was that defined. :) It's interesting how your mind plays with you as we pack it on....

I'm starving too. I hope I not still starving at 25 weeks. I don't think I can deal mentally with that. ;); June 23, 2010 at 10:22 AM
Percolating Petals said...: I'm almost 20 weeks and my road rage has been getting a bit worse...thanks for letting me know I'm not the only one. :); June 23, 2010 at 11:28 AM
Thankful said...: This cracked me up (except for the SPD and heartburn - ouch). Those darn thin girls... lol!; June 23, 2010 at 11:46 AM
More Than Anything said...: I think everybody on the road is out to tick me off too...and I'm not even pregnant! Good grief....I can't even imagine.

P.S. I'm hungry all the time too...again NOT PREGNANT! :); June 23, 2010 at 12:25 PM
Praying for Hope said...: I'll admit, I wasn't particularly patient with other drivers or pedestrians before I was pregnant, either, but it's gotten worse. I can't drive without wanting to slap someone. And I always had the munchies. I wasn't necessarily hungry, just bored. Usually at work.; June 23, 2010 at 12:28 PM
the misfit said...: "Gaining weight . . . is traumatic" - I don't think you put this too strongly. While I'm not pregnant (and have said to MANY friends, "You don't look fat. You look pregnant," which sounds helpful, to me), it's interesting how extremely strongly women react to gaining weight. You gain ten pounds, next season you might lose ten pounds...it's ten pounds. (Obviously, more with pregnancy.) But it is traumatic. And shouldn't be! I am sure you look fantastic (and pregnant). Glad to hear you're healthy.; June 23, 2010 at 6:10 PM
mrsblondies said...: I'm sorry you are having to deal with the pelvic pain. I'm glad you're otherwise healthy and the baby is doing well.; June 24, 2010 at 10:30 AM

TTC History

9/1/2007 - Married to a perfect man.

10/28/2007 - Started the never ending road of TTC at the tender age of 37. How many other people do you know who can name the exact date they started trying for a baby?

3/12/2007 - Decided my husband and I weren't getting anywhere on our own in TTC and and that it was time to look for someone who could help.

4/10/2008 - Attended our first CreightonModel Fertility Care class and started tracking my cycle.

4/25/2008 - Had our first one-on-one session with our FertilityCare practitioner. We learned a lot. She suggested an appointment with one of the practice doctors, Dr. Mark Stegman, a skilled Napro doctor and surgeon, we took her up on the offer. We might be able to get an appointment some time in August.

4/28/2008 - Got a call from a receptionist from Dr. Stegman's office. Could I come in next week? Yes!

5/5/2008 - My first appointment with Dr. Stegman. He was very thorough in discussing our options and a potential plan of action for us. We'll begin with blood work to establish a hormone profile series in my next cycle.

5/2008 - Blood work every other day for two weeks. The nurse at the front desk knew me by sight by the time we were done. I nearly passed out at the payment desk on the day they took 10 vials of blood. That was pleasant. Did I mention that I hate needles?

5/27/2008 - Our first seminal analysis (SA). We're not keen on the special condom meant for the job.

6/30/2008 - Our follow up appointment with Dr. Stegman to learn about the results of our tests and where we go from there. My blood work looks good. My husband's SA looks good, too, except for forward progression. We scored a 1+. I believe 2+ is the preferred score. Dr. S recommends Proxeed. He also tells us he wants to schedule a selective hysterosalpingogram, a hysteroscopy, and a laproscopy some time late summer or early fall.

7/30/2008 - Being too cheap to shell out over $600 for a 6-month supply of Proxeed, my husband and I opt for the generic equivalent. It's a lot of vitamins, but it's much kinder to our wallet.

9/8/2008 - I have the preliminary exam, blood work, and tests prior to my surgery. I'm so nervous, I'm about ready to run screaming out the door, down the steps, across the parking lot, and straight home so I can hide under the bed with the dog. It's a miracle that I don't.

9/9/2008 - I have the SHSG, hysteroscopy, and laparoscopy and, much to my surprise, I survive. My tubes are good (woo hoo!), and I have no adhesions. Dr. S removes three polyps and "quite a bit" of endometriosis. It doesn't look that bad in the pictures of the surgery. It's fascinating to see what I look like from the inside out.

9/10/2008 - 9/12/2008 - I look like Shamu.

10/30/2008 - We're told that everything from the surgery looks good. The scars will fade over the coming months. We're to try to make a baby on our own for the next 6 months. Dr. S calls this "the fun part."

1/30/2009 - We have another appointment with our FertilityCare practioner (we've had quite a few before this, but I haven't mentioned them). She thinks Dr. Stegman might try me on Clomid as a next step. I hope it's Femara. It's not nearly as drying.

2/3/2009 - We have our second SA. We're still not keen on the condom.

3/4/2009 - This is fun?

3/27/2009 - The scars from the laparoscopy are nearly gone. Oh, and I'm 39.

4/9/2009 - Another appointment with Dr. Stegman. We learned the results of the SA. The numbers are no worse than the first - in fact some are much improved - but forward progression is no better. Our plan of action: optimize mucus by taking Mucinex twice a day from CD8 - P+1 plus 500 mg of extended release B6 daily for 2 months followed by 100 mg daily. DH is to make an appointment with a local urologist while Dr. S contacts a urologist in Philly with an interest in male infertility to learn if there is any more we could be doing. Next follow up: August.

4/29/2009 - We - or more like DH - had our urologist appointment. Official dianosis: nothing. No varicoceles, no prostate problems. Prescription: continue doing what we're doing. For this we needed a urologist?

5/29/2009 - Dr. S is booked for the month of August! They said they'd call when August opened up for appointments. I didn't hear the phone ring. September opens up next week. An additional month of nothing. I'm 39 - Methuselah in TTC years. How many months do I have left?

7/16/2009 - Ho hum.

7/24/2009 - Another FerterlityCare appointment. Our FertilityCare practitioner, Kim Lane, suggested that Dr. S may be taking his cue from me as to how aggressively we want to pursue treatment. I need to come up with a few new cues so we can get off the wait-and-see treadmill.

9/17/2009 - Another follow-up with Dr. Stegman. Our plan starting with the next cycle: 1) Limited hormonal profile, 2) An ultrasound series to monitor follicle development, 3) Ovulation stimulation (type and amount to be determined by the u/s series), 4) Food intolerance testing (is it ALCAT?), 5) Five cycles of Amoxicillin from CD8 - CD12 to improve CM.

9/28/2009 - The beginning of another hormone profile and, a new one for me, a follicular ultrasound study. This should be interesting provided I can keep track of all the appointments.

10/4/2009 - 5th ultrasound and three follicles! Can you imagine? So what does that make FSH?

11/11/2009 - Progesterone and Thyroid support! We had another appointment with Dr. S to discuss the test results and come up with another plan of action. FSH and LH were only 5.7 and 5.1 respectively - good levels, good ratio - but TSH and Reverse T3 were slightly high and progesterone plummeted afer P+5. Ovulation looks great, so no ovulation stimulation . . . yet. Ah, well.

12/8/2009 - I am a fertility magnet. Anyone in my vicinity will, given the opportunity, become pregnant within a year, TTC or not. Whether it be a 20 year old woman or an 80 year old man, it doesn't matter. All those around me, as long as they're not actually me, will have a child. I am blessed with an awesome power. . . . How do I reverse the polarity?

1/27/2010 - BFP. Stunned.

1/28/2010 - I called Dr. S's office the moment they opened. We have blood work this afternoon, 200mg of Progesterone, and a prenatal appointment. Prenatal. With a midwife. I'm really pregnant. Me.

1/29/2010 - P+17 numbers are hCG, 472, and Progesterone, 10.2. PIO twice a week, Mondays and Thursdays. I can’t sit down, but I’m too restless to care. The HPT was right.

2/1/2010 - You do not make a desperate, hormonal woman wait for P+21 hCG results! By the way, they're 1670. I'm limp with relief.

2/11/2010 - There’s a baby in there! Our first ultrasound. Junior is measuring 6 weeks, 1 day with a heart rate of 96 bpm.

2/16/2010 - Progesterone results from the last blood draw haven’t budged, so we’re adding daily progesterone suppositories to the twice a week injections. I’ll do whatever it takes.

3/2/2010 - Progesterone has risen to 27.4, zone 3! No PIO for now, just suppositories until the next blood draw in two weeks. If it still looks good (fingers crossed), we may be able to stop the suppositories. Knock on wood, knock on wood, knock on wood . . . .

3/27/2010 - New decade: I'm 40!

4/5/2010 - No more progesterone. The level at the last blood draw is 30 which I don't think sounds particularly high. If the experts are happy, I'm happy. And the results from the Down Syndrome screening came back: we're at no greater risk for Downs than anyone else. We're breathing again, until the next milestone at least.

5/18/2010 - It’s a mobile, little girl! Keep growing, kiddo.

10/11/2010 - Welcome Kathleen Elizabeth.