DH and I have been talking about the possibility of erectile dysfunction. He believes he's falling apart and that it's an inevitable part of getting old. I'm trying to get him to stop believing that he's going to die before he's 50. Really. He believes this. HE DRIVES ME CRAZY! I'm telling you now, if he does die, and it's from something he could have prevented by taking steps now, my ghost will come back to haunt his ghost. I may need to wait a few years until I can join him, but I will haunt him! He's not getting away from me that easily.
The next time he makes any allusion to being broken or dying early as his grandparents did, I will once again suggest that he should see someone - his doctor, a psychologist, I don't care. I didn't marry him to become a widow within ten years. He's not turning his belief that he'll have a heart attack or stroke or anything else into reality. Maybe he's prone to it, but I'll be da**ed if he's going to throw open the door and invite it in. He's going to learn to lock that #$*@& door!
5 comments:
My husband says something similar occasionally - and, though he doesn't think he's going from a heart attack, he's smoked for almost twenty years, so _I_ think he will (die of lung cancer, anyway). My solution to this is straightforward. I figured out early which of his single friends he would least like to see me marry, and I have told everyone who knows both of them (except this young man) that I will marry him the minute my DH kicks the bucket. It upsets him even now. I think it's perfectly fair. (I've also explained that I expect to be widowed before menopause [he's seven years older] - all other things being equal, it would be a cinch to remarry under those conditions. Of course, with the IF, maybe not so much, but it's still an advantage.)
I totally understand. It drove me crazy too. Now I have achieved peace by driving HIM crazy instead. I recommend it.
My husband and I have struggled with erectile dysfunction for years. I finally talked him into seeing a doctor after he started gaining weight and getting depressed. We found out his testerone level was really low, caused by low LH and FSH. Has your husband's testosterone level been checked? Even after my husband's testerone level was fixed, via weekly injections of testosterone, he still had ED problems. I talked him into trying cialis, didn't work, made him sick. Then I talked him into trying Viagra. It worked. Now he's a whole new man. He still has to take a pill before BDing, but I believe he could probably perform without it. He just won't risk it.
ED causes all sorts of problems in a marriage, especially when you're trying to have a baby. Men's egos can't handle it. I wish you luck.
Beth
You're to funny! I love this post.
Misfit, thanks for the advice. I don't know if I'll make a concerted effort to drive him crazy yet - I manage to do that without trying :) - but I'll keep it in mind. I'm sorry your husband continues to smoke. It is frustrating when you know of all the things that could happen. MIL does the same thing and continues smoking in spite of the COPD. She's stopped for the moment - if she wants the bones to fuse from her recent neck surgery, she has no choice - but we're fairly certain she'll pick it up again. It's an addiction. Honestly, tobacco should be banned. I'm sure the uproar over that would die down once everyone hooked on it gets over the withdrawl symptoms.
Beth, your information is good to know. I may bring up some of it with DH if this continues. It's off and on for him, but it appears to be happening more frequently now. The trick is getting him to agree to see the urologist again to check specifically on this problem. He won't agree to it until he's ready. Until then, he'll continue coming up with excuses or he'll be a miserable failure (the "failure" part will be his opinion, not mine).
FT, I have to be funny when I'm mad and putting it in writing, otherwise, I may write/say something I'll regret. Besides, I will come back to haunt him if he gives me a reason.
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