Where has the time gone?

Our LO is four months old today. Four months ago at this time, she was a little more than half an hour old. She was still laying on my stomach as the doctor stitched me up. It doesn't seem that long ago. At the same time, it seems like it's been years. Good years, I might add.

Now that Kathleen is with us, it's hard to believe I was ever pregnant. I must have been, but the memory is foggy. I didn't realize it would fade this quickly. It was so vivid then - it was my life - that it's strange to coax the memories out of the recesses of my mind. I have the memories, but I've lost the feelings, if that makes sense. I know I was uncomfortable with the clogged ears, the heartburn, and the loose joints. I know the birth was painful in spite of the epidural. I know, but I don't feel. That part of my memory has disappeared. My life is something else now.

Our little one continues to grow and her parents, to adjust. She is a 24 x 7 job - admittedly the best job I've ever had along with being a wife. We're tired and grumpy. We barely have a minute to call our own. Finding time for each other, our pets, and others is a challenge. We're falling asleep on the couch on a regular basis and in unusual situations (surprisingly, you can fall asleep while pumping). Still, we look at her every morning and then at each other and thank our lucky stars that she's here.

You see, we planned for her and hoped for her but never expected her. If she hadn't come along when she did, we would have been childless. I know for a fact we'd have stopped trying by now. She is a miracle. In the midst of the rockiest moments of the terrible twos and the more terrible teens and whatever else we encounter, we will never stop thanking our lucky stars.

For now, I look forward to 4:00 every afternoon when I get to see her again. I welcome every weekend when she's with us all day for two days throwing a baby-sized monkey wrench into whatever I had planned to get done for the day. We wouldn't have it any other way.