Spring, U/S, and Pregnancy After IF

Ready for Spring in a very big way. No more snow. No more snow. Say it with me: no more snow. I don't know where the plows will put it all. As I navigate the piles while driving through downtown Harrisburg, I can't help but think that it all has to melt eventually. We haven't had this much snow at once since the Blizzard of '96. . . which all melted the next week, thereby creating the Flood of '96 and taking a portion of the Walnut Street Bridge with it. I must say, I really do miss the grass.

I'm very tired today, which I suppose is good. Considering I slept pretty well for the past few nights, I assume it's due to Junior. Nothing else notable happening in the symptoms department. No, I lie, I did have a hollow feeling in my stomach yesterday evening. It was bearable. It certainly didn't keep me from downing the nachos my husband made as we vegged on the couch in front of the TV.

We had our first ultrasound yesterday. There's actually a baby in there. . . with a heartbeat. I had myself half convinced that we'd see an empty sack or one that was measuring too small, or something indicating an ectopic pregnancy. But no, Junior measured 6 weeks, 1 day - only a day or two off from my estimates based on peak day - and has a heart rate of 96 beats per minutes. We're told everything looks fine.

The only downer about the entire episode was that I couldn't see a thing from my position. The ceiling, yes, the back of the screen, but nothing interesting. Nothing. DH had a great view, however. I love to see that grin on his face. I did manage to see a few of the tiny images the ultrasound tech took before she whisked everything away to be reviewed by a doctor. I believe I saw the baby in one of them. An actual baby. It's still unreal.

That's the one thing about pregnancy after IF: I'm having trouble believing this is all happening. It's very out-of-body. It's like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop and the world to show me that I'm not actually pregnant. This can't possibly be happening to me. Me, of all people.

Oh, another thing . . . be forewarned: pregnancy after IF is one never-ending worry after another. After taking what felt like a lifetime to reach this point, it's difficult not to worry about losing it and having to start from square one again. But of course, I'll take every single worry. As long as I have them, I'm still pregnant. When I can ignore them long enough, it's a wonderful feeling.