Upwards and onwards

hCG is 1670. I couldn't wait for the nurse any longer and had to call. We have a number of hurdles left, but I'm happy to be through the first few.

It's very strange to find myself in this situation. I still think of myself as IF. I am IF, just a lucky one. It took 36 failures to get to this point. While I know many others have gone much longer, even this long has been an eternity. My biggest concern was my age. I had assumed that with the time I had remaining and our other issues, this would not happen for us. I was resigning myself to a childless future.

This blog was started to journal my IF experience. That's it. It was a place to vent and cry and get everything out there before I melted into a miserable mess.

I've decided I'm going to continue documenting my experiences, but as an infertile who just happens to be pregnant. I'm going to type out my hopes, fears, and other events. Those are things I want to know now that I'm here. I've been scouring blogs to see what others have gone through. I want to know who else had to do PIO shots, who else experienced spotting, what symptoms they did or did not have. It helps. And I hope my experiences help someone else.

Now having said that, what have we gone through up to this point?

Symptoms
All of those pregnancy sites that say you should be feeling tiredness, incredibly tender breasts, food aversions, frequent trips to the bathroom . . . they're wrong. For me, anyway. I didn't feel any of that initially. The tender breasts are finally here, but they're not particularly noticeable. Food aversions? None, really. There are times when I don't want to eat, but not because I feel sick: food simply doesn't appeal to me at that point and I'm very much not in the mood to eat. The tiredness? Well I have that, but it's due to insomnia. Those pregnancy sites rarely mention insomnia. As for the bathroom, I don't need to go any more than I did before.

Other symptoms they don't mention:

• Cramping - Not period like cramping but more a feeling of gas that comes and goes.
• Twinges - I have twinges here and there in conjunction with the cramping. After Googling this, both are probably due to a growing uterus. It's disconcerting at first, but it's normal.
• Fullness - I feel fullness and bloating in my abdomen. That comes and goes with the cramping. I didn't feel either for several days, but that's normal.
• CM - I'm surprised how much CM I'm finding. It worries me as I feel the wet, but when I find no spotting with it, life is good. It's evidently due to increasing progesterone and is perfectly normal.

Spotting
It's likely the most disturbing part of this pregnancy. It's been constant since P+10 - I imagine that's about the time I implanted - but it's been light, usually pink, occasionally brown. It disappears briefly after the PIO shots - didn't have any at all, yesterday, after the PIO the day before - so I'm as certain as I can be that it's being caused by lower progesterone. Spotting is not uncommon during the first trimester. Possibly, but it's certainly disconcerting.

Progesterone
It was only 10.2 at P+17. I gather that's not horribly low, but it's low enough to warrant Progesterone in Oil (PIO) injections twice a week. The injections are uncomfortable but bearable. I need to have mine lying down since feeling the stuff going in while I'm standing makes me queasy. I also have a more sensitive side: the right. I may need to get these for quite some time. I'll happily deal with them.

hCG
Nearly every website and every person out there says they should double every two days. Don't believe it. Every two to three days is normal. The nurse told me they were looking for a 60 - 100% rise every two days.