Without fail

The moment - the exact moment - that I feel that I'm in a balanced place in my head regarding TTC - i.e. not overly morose or pessimistic and maybe almost accepting of the place where we are in the process now - something comes along to knock me back down. It's funny (not that ha-ha funny) that I was wondering only this morning when it would happen. I was hoping the reprieve would last a few weeks longer.

I reconnected with a college roommate on Facebook last month. After a few emails back and forth, I learned that she and her husband had been trying unsuccessfully for children for years and had given up. Finally, I thought, someone who understands. Someone in real life with whom I can discuss all of this stuff. Ha! I sent an email back on our own situation: she never responded. I now know why. According to this morning's Facebook announcement, they're expecting their first child in the Spring.

You can never, ever become complacent with this. Never. It's like a brick wall jumps out and smacks you in the face. THWACK! You find yourself lying on the ground wondering what on earth happened.

Sigh. I don't know what else to say. I know we're trying. We're doing everything within reason that we can. We even managed to BD last night after the play knowing we wouldn't get to bed before midnight. I don't know why. It hardly makes a difference. We could BD every day, twice a day for two straight weeks through the peak period and still get nothing. I can abstain from various foods, any number of activities, eat nothing but the most healthful things, and take every fertility pill known and unknown to man and still come out with a lovely slim and svelte figure. Well, booyah.